November Moments

Election Day. Another 16 years and the franchise is all yours, kid!

The month of November is passing us by just as fast as Liam's second year. We kicked off the month with Liam's second birthday and his official two-year check-up with his doctor. Since May he has only gained a little over a pound, but he has grown two inches! For a kid who eats like he has two hallow legs, you would think he would have no trouble putting on weight, but he is almost never still during waking hours and is on the tall side, so I'm not worried. The day after his birthday was Election Day, of course. I took Liam to the polling place and gave him his first civics lesson. He even got an honorary "I Voted" sticker from the elderly lady handing them out at the polling place. Apparently retired ladies of a certain age are suckers for chatty two-year-old boys.

Thankfully this month has finally offered the break in the heat I've been waiting for so long. Our walks are much more pleasant and less sweaty now that the cool fall beach weather has returned. We have even had a few rainy days, which I always enjoy. I know it sounds unfair to complain about sunshine, but I miss weather and don't mind cold rainy days at all. I see them as a great excuse to stay in and get cozy at home.

Rainy day.

 Last week Eric gave a lecture for the American Research Center in Egypt at the Bowers Museum in Santa Ana. They asked him to speak on King Tut and dogs as part of a series of lectures celebrating the 90th anniversary of the discovery of Tutankhamun's tomb by Howard Carter. Liam is hardly one for lectures, so he and I wandered the museum while Eric gave his talk. Based on the reactions of people I spoke to at the reception afterward, they all enjoyed his lecture very much. Many ARCE members are retired folks, so Liam was also a hit with them. It was a long day, and Liam and I had to make an early exit when he started to lose steam.

In the car on the ride home after Daddy's lecture.

After Eric's lecture at the Bowers Museum.
Liam isn't much for family pictures these days, can you tell?

As you can see from the picture above, Liam has no patience for family pictures right now. The last family photo we had taken was when Liam was just one month old. (Eric isn't much for family pictures, either.) However, I managed to get both of them in the studio two weeks ago for a 2012 family portrait session. I considered that achievement alone a victory, and it turns out it was the only victory I was destined for that day. Kudos to Eric for his patience, but Liam was obstinate and wanted nothing to do with getting his picture taken with us or by himself. Our family/two-year portraits session turned into an hour and a half long chore. There were no snacks, gadgets, or toys that could persuade Liam to submit to pictures. We limped away from our portrait session with only one or two decent family shots and only one or two good shots of Liam. It was a valiant effort, but it just wasn't meant to be. ...Ah, well. We tried!

Two Years Old!

Two year ago today, life changed forever. Happy birthday, Liam!

October Adventures

At the pumpkin patch

As always, my goal is to write a post more than just once a month, and once again I failed. In my defense, we had a busy October, and my evening window to decompress has been entirely taken up with decompressing. There is no way to measure it, of course, but I would swear that I'm more tired at the end of the day now than I was after a full day at work and a 1.5 hour commute each way. So, this post is delayed, but I'm here now, and that is a victory in itself!

Mommy and Liam at Riley's farm.

 In early October we took a trip up to Riley's farm for apples, cider, pumpkins, and general enjoyment of a beautiful autumn day in the mountains. It was great to get out for a fun family outing and snap some cute seasonal pictures of Liam. He had lots of fun exploring a new place, and felt so at home that he just picked up an apple in the store and took a big bite out of it! Luckily we already had a few goodies to buy, so we just added Liam's apple to our order.

Liam loved the big rocking chair he found on the front porch.

 The other hallmark event of October was Halloween, of course. Liam dressed up as a little tiger, and was very excited that his costume had a tail. I wasn't sure what to expect from him when it came to trick-or-treating, but he did great and had a blast. We went with his cousin Abigail (almost 3), his aunt and uncle, and Abigail's sister baby Rorrie. With my help, Liam followed Abigail's lead in trick-or-treating, and soon was saying his own unbelievably cute version (it sounded like "chitch er cheet!") followed by, "dee!" which is his version of thank you. I was actually very pleased that he added the thank-you on his own--apparently some of what Mama says sinks in every now and then!

Little tiger.

 All in all, it was a fun month, and I'm hoping now that Halloween is past we will get some cooler temperatures around here. Most of October was pretty hot, so maybe November will bring back those breezy cool beach days that are perfect for walks around the neighborhood. As always, with each day that passes Liam grows and changes, and this month I've come to see just how much language he's picking up every day. He is now a great mimic, and it's fun to hear him pick up on words and phrases. He doesn't miss much! And--while I may be biased--it really seems to me that he's turning into a very sweet little boy. He has his toddler moments, but generally speaking he does what he is asked, and uses "please" and "thank you" when he should. He loves to help me clean, and will happily wipe the tables with a dust cloth or hand me things to put back on the shelf after it's been dusted. I suppose it is possible that this sweet and helpful nature will fade as he gets older and develops more of his own agenda for his activities, but I strongly suspect it is a true part of his developing personality. Either way, I am glad I'm able to see him all day and get to know better the toddler that is growing into a little boy so quickly.

Ready for trick-or-treating!

One Month In

It is one month into my new occupation as a full-time mom, and I have to say I think things are going rather well. Sure, the days can be exhausting and intense, but that is to be expected. Daily irritations and frustrations aside, so far this arrangement seems to be working for us. I miss certain aspects of working, naturally, but I've not had one moment where I thought, "Man, I wish I was at work!" When I'm with my son, I know I'm just where I need to be right now, and I've found that thought overrides any professional pangs.

Liam at UCLA. His shirt says "Future UCLA Grad."

In fact, if it's possible I think spending more time with my kid has made me even crazier about him. (Note: It's the "about him" in that last sentence that makes it an expression of love and not a simple factual statement... Just keepin' it real.) While close proximity and a constant marathon pace should be a formula for thin nerves and a short fuse, so far I've found it mostly reinforces the positives. Not that both Liam and I don't have our moments, of course--it's just that the positives ultimately seem to win out in the daily battles. That lesson has been a lovely, pleasant surprise.

Liam's first trip to the library.

Thus far my daily goals have proved to be a useful guide for our daily activities, as I hoped they would be. Liam is up with the sun (if not before), and while I caffeinate and peruse the morning news online, he gets his daily allotment of "Mickey Mouse Clubhouse" (a.k.a. "Mi Mow How"). After breakfast--Liam usually eats his and mine--we get dressed and head to the park around 9 o'clock. Nine has proved to be the golden hour for us at the park. Most days we have the place completely to ourselves, as most people don't start to show up until 10 a.m. or so. By that time, Liam is comfortably ensconced in his stroller with his sippy cup and morning snack while I push him up and down the sidewalks of our neighborhood hills and get in some decent physical exercise. I know this time isn't wasted because the hills are getting easier for me each week, but I won't be sorry when the temperatures around here finally cool off for good around Halloween.

Liam loves to chill with the iPad.

After our morning time at the park and a walk around the neighborhood, it's usually time for lunch, followed by naptime an hour or so later, around noon. God willing, Liam naps from 12-2 p.m., and I have a chance to do chores, each lunch, and/or collapse as I see fit. In the afternoon we do some reading or coloring, and have lots of playtime. If Liam is antsy and if it's not too hot out, we sometimes go for another walk before suppertime ushers in the evening routine and daddy's return.

Slide!

Painting in the Children's Gallery at LACMA.

All of these activities vary from day to day, depending on what errands or chores need to be accomplished, but as you can see we fell into a new rhythm fairly quickly. We even threw in some fun outings last month--we went to UCLA and had lunch with Eric, visited the zoo and LACMA, and made Liam's first visit to the library. There are still some kinks I want to work out, like finding some social activities for us, and learning how to make the best use of my (very limited) time without Liam. 

In other words, the Great Balancing Act continues, job or no job.

Liam loved running through all of the lampposts of "Urban Light" at LACMA.

A New Chapter

September 5th marked the end of the one chapter in my life and the beginning of another. Even though the course of this new season is as yet completely uncharted, I'm happy about the prospect of a fresh start and a chance for renewal and reinvestment in areas of my life that suffered inevitable neglect due to the realities of being a full-time working mother. For me, the past two years cast in sharp relief the challenges and frustrations a working mother and wife faces--many of which I didn't fully understand or appreciate until I found myself confronting them on a daily basis. I now have an unexpected opportunity to clear out the cobwebs of neglect in those challenge areas. This sense of purpose led me to outline a few of the broad goals I have for my time as a full-time mom (however long that proves to be). I say "broad goals" intentionally. After all, I want to be realistic--life happens. Not every one of these goals will be reached every day, but they will provide a good framework to go on.

1. A new routine. While sometimes one can become a slave to routine, I've definitely seen the benefits of having a family routine, and I don't want to lose too much structure now that my life is no longer ruled by a time clock. Everyone likes the comfort and feeling of productivity a routine provides, and I've found it a great survival tool as a parent. Also, a little structure to the day will go a long way in helping me meet the goals I have in mind. Generally speaking, I'd like our new average daily routine to include:
     a) Some time outdoors and physical activity--preferably before naptime... (see also: goal #2)
     b) Preschool educational activities for Liam:  reading, art making, music, etc.
     c) Daily family time--with two working parents whose commute home is over an hour, this one has always been our ideal, but hard to pull off in the past because Liam often falls asleep before Eric gets home.
     d) A little time at the beginning and/or end of the day for mommy-decompression

2. Get physical. The remaining three items on this list are mostly about me. As parents (especially mothers) I think the first thing we cut out of our lives when a baby enters the picture is everything we used to do for "me"--all of our energy goes into everything but taking care of ourselves. I have certainly been guilty of that, and I want to use this as an opportunity to work on striking a better balance. So, shooting for some physical activity each day is not just about giving Liam time to play outside or at the park, it's also about keeping me active, healthy, and feeling good as well.

3. Mental & intellectual health. Again, this one is about keeping me happy, healthy, and sane. I want to take time each day--even if it's just a few minutes--for stress-relief and decompression, and ideally some intellectual engagement (reading, writing, etc.). This new existence is a real change for me, not just in terms of  what I do every day but also in how I see myself and where I am in my life. I fully realize that keeping up my mental game is going to be key, and although it will be tough on some days to carve out time, I plan to take this goal very seriously.

4. Refocus and reinvest. There is no question that in the past the never-ending spin of the hamster wheel that is working motherhood got the better of me more than I would like. One of my hopes for this time is that mommy and daddy can find more time to be husband and wife now and then. "Date nights" certainly don't happen as often as they should. I'd also like to invest a little in some odds-and-ends improvements around the place to make it even homier and some organizational features that I haven't had the time to get to since we moved in last October. I'm not going to go "This Old House" on the place or anything, but I think a few small, inexpensive changes will go a long way.

I don't feel I'm over-reaching with any of these goals, but check-in with me a year from now and we'll see what I have to say about it! My first week of the post-Villa era was busy and activity-filled, thanks to a visit from my mom. Liam was more than happy to enjoy being spoiled by Grandma for a week, and I was thankful for a chance to do some of those odds-and-ends tasks I mentioned above and get organized. It was  nice to have some company and keep so busy this first week after being laid-off--it made for an easier transition and kept me from dwelling on the anxiety and sadness. It will take some time for those emotions to fade, I know, but this first week was a good start.

All right then--here we go!