October Adventures

At the pumpkin patch

As always, my goal is to write a post more than just once a month, and once again I failed. In my defense, we had a busy October, and my evening window to decompress has been entirely taken up with decompressing. There is no way to measure it, of course, but I would swear that I'm more tired at the end of the day now than I was after a full day at work and a 1.5 hour commute each way. So, this post is delayed, but I'm here now, and that is a victory in itself!

Mommy and Liam at Riley's farm.

 In early October we took a trip up to Riley's farm for apples, cider, pumpkins, and general enjoyment of a beautiful autumn day in the mountains. It was great to get out for a fun family outing and snap some cute seasonal pictures of Liam. He had lots of fun exploring a new place, and felt so at home that he just picked up an apple in the store and took a big bite out of it! Luckily we already had a few goodies to buy, so we just added Liam's apple to our order.

Liam loved the big rocking chair he found on the front porch.

 The other hallmark event of October was Halloween, of course. Liam dressed up as a little tiger, and was very excited that his costume had a tail. I wasn't sure what to expect from him when it came to trick-or-treating, but he did great and had a blast. We went with his cousin Abigail (almost 3), his aunt and uncle, and Abigail's sister baby Rorrie. With my help, Liam followed Abigail's lead in trick-or-treating, and soon was saying his own unbelievably cute version (it sounded like "chitch er cheet!") followed by, "dee!" which is his version of thank you. I was actually very pleased that he added the thank-you on his own--apparently some of what Mama says sinks in every now and then!

Little tiger.

 All in all, it was a fun month, and I'm hoping now that Halloween is past we will get some cooler temperatures around here. Most of October was pretty hot, so maybe November will bring back those breezy cool beach days that are perfect for walks around the neighborhood. As always, with each day that passes Liam grows and changes, and this month I've come to see just how much language he's picking up every day. He is now a great mimic, and it's fun to hear him pick up on words and phrases. He doesn't miss much! And--while I may be biased--it really seems to me that he's turning into a very sweet little boy. He has his toddler moments, but generally speaking he does what he is asked, and uses "please" and "thank you" when he should. He loves to help me clean, and will happily wipe the tables with a dust cloth or hand me things to put back on the shelf after it's been dusted. I suppose it is possible that this sweet and helpful nature will fade as he gets older and develops more of his own agenda for his activities, but I strongly suspect it is a true part of his developing personality. Either way, I am glad I'm able to see him all day and get to know better the toddler that is growing into a little boy so quickly.

Ready for trick-or-treating!

One Month In

It is one month into my new occupation as a full-time mom, and I have to say I think things are going rather well. Sure, the days can be exhausting and intense, but that is to be expected. Daily irritations and frustrations aside, so far this arrangement seems to be working for us. I miss certain aspects of working, naturally, but I've not had one moment where I thought, "Man, I wish I was at work!" When I'm with my son, I know I'm just where I need to be right now, and I've found that thought overrides any professional pangs.

Liam at UCLA. His shirt says "Future UCLA Grad."

In fact, if it's possible I think spending more time with my kid has made me even crazier about him. (Note: It's the "about him" in that last sentence that makes it an expression of love and not a simple factual statement... Just keepin' it real.) While close proximity and a constant marathon pace should be a formula for thin nerves and a short fuse, so far I've found it mostly reinforces the positives. Not that both Liam and I don't have our moments, of course--it's just that the positives ultimately seem to win out in the daily battles. That lesson has been a lovely, pleasant surprise.

Liam's first trip to the library.

Thus far my daily goals have proved to be a useful guide for our daily activities, as I hoped they would be. Liam is up with the sun (if not before), and while I caffeinate and peruse the morning news online, he gets his daily allotment of "Mickey Mouse Clubhouse" (a.k.a. "Mi Mow How"). After breakfast--Liam usually eats his and mine--we get dressed and head to the park around 9 o'clock. Nine has proved to be the golden hour for us at the park. Most days we have the place completely to ourselves, as most people don't start to show up until 10 a.m. or so. By that time, Liam is comfortably ensconced in his stroller with his sippy cup and morning snack while I push him up and down the sidewalks of our neighborhood hills and get in some decent physical exercise. I know this time isn't wasted because the hills are getting easier for me each week, but I won't be sorry when the temperatures around here finally cool off for good around Halloween.

Liam loves to chill with the iPad.

After our morning time at the park and a walk around the neighborhood, it's usually time for lunch, followed by naptime an hour or so later, around noon. God willing, Liam naps from 12-2 p.m., and I have a chance to do chores, each lunch, and/or collapse as I see fit. In the afternoon we do some reading or coloring, and have lots of playtime. If Liam is antsy and if it's not too hot out, we sometimes go for another walk before suppertime ushers in the evening routine and daddy's return.

Slide!

Painting in the Children's Gallery at LACMA.

All of these activities vary from day to day, depending on what errands or chores need to be accomplished, but as you can see we fell into a new rhythm fairly quickly. We even threw in some fun outings last month--we went to UCLA and had lunch with Eric, visited the zoo and LACMA, and made Liam's first visit to the library. There are still some kinks I want to work out, like finding some social activities for us, and learning how to make the best use of my (very limited) time without Liam. 

In other words, the Great Balancing Act continues, job or no job.

Liam loved running through all of the lampposts of "Urban Light" at LACMA.

A New Chapter

September 5th marked the end of the one chapter in my life and the beginning of another. Even though the course of this new season is as yet completely uncharted, I'm happy about the prospect of a fresh start and a chance for renewal and reinvestment in areas of my life that suffered inevitable neglect due to the realities of being a full-time working mother. For me, the past two years cast in sharp relief the challenges and frustrations a working mother and wife faces--many of which I didn't fully understand or appreciate until I found myself confronting them on a daily basis. I now have an unexpected opportunity to clear out the cobwebs of neglect in those challenge areas. This sense of purpose led me to outline a few of the broad goals I have for my time as a full-time mom (however long that proves to be). I say "broad goals" intentionally. After all, I want to be realistic--life happens. Not every one of these goals will be reached every day, but they will provide a good framework to go on.

1. A new routine. While sometimes one can become a slave to routine, I've definitely seen the benefits of having a family routine, and I don't want to lose too much structure now that my life is no longer ruled by a time clock. Everyone likes the comfort and feeling of productivity a routine provides, and I've found it a great survival tool as a parent. Also, a little structure to the day will go a long way in helping me meet the goals I have in mind. Generally speaking, I'd like our new average daily routine to include:
     a) Some time outdoors and physical activity--preferably before naptime... (see also: goal #2)
     b) Preschool educational activities for Liam:  reading, art making, music, etc.
     c) Daily family time--with two working parents whose commute home is over an hour, this one has always been our ideal, but hard to pull off in the past because Liam often falls asleep before Eric gets home.
     d) A little time at the beginning and/or end of the day for mommy-decompression

2. Get physical. The remaining three items on this list are mostly about me. As parents (especially mothers) I think the first thing we cut out of our lives when a baby enters the picture is everything we used to do for "me"--all of our energy goes into everything but taking care of ourselves. I have certainly been guilty of that, and I want to use this as an opportunity to work on striking a better balance. So, shooting for some physical activity each day is not just about giving Liam time to play outside or at the park, it's also about keeping me active, healthy, and feeling good as well.

3. Mental & intellectual health. Again, this one is about keeping me happy, healthy, and sane. I want to take time each day--even if it's just a few minutes--for stress-relief and decompression, and ideally some intellectual engagement (reading, writing, etc.). This new existence is a real change for me, not just in terms of  what I do every day but also in how I see myself and where I am in my life. I fully realize that keeping up my mental game is going to be key, and although it will be tough on some days to carve out time, I plan to take this goal very seriously.

4. Refocus and reinvest. There is no question that in the past the never-ending spin of the hamster wheel that is working motherhood got the better of me more than I would like. One of my hopes for this time is that mommy and daddy can find more time to be husband and wife now and then. "Date nights" certainly don't happen as often as they should. I'd also like to invest a little in some odds-and-ends improvements around the place to make it even homier and some organizational features that I haven't had the time to get to since we moved in last October. I'm not going to go "This Old House" on the place or anything, but I think a few small, inexpensive changes will go a long way.

I don't feel I'm over-reaching with any of these goals, but check-in with me a year from now and we'll see what I have to say about it! My first week of the post-Villa era was busy and activity-filled, thanks to a visit from my mom. Liam was more than happy to enjoy being spoiled by Grandma for a week, and I was thankful for a chance to do some of those odds-and-ends tasks I mentioned above and get organized. It was  nice to have some company and keep so busy this first week after being laid-off--it made for an easier transition and kept me from dwelling on the anxiety and sadness. It will take some time for those emotions to fade, I know, but this first week was a good start.

All right then--here we go!

Farewell

On this day, my last at the Villa, I'd like to share with you a farewell poem written by a former colleague of mine who left the Villa back in 2009. I liked it then, and I like it even more now that I have to say my own goodbye.

Farewell
Sirens
In their mournful wake
Bid me their farewell
As I sail eastward
Into the dark and nebulous passage
Charted by no map in the world
But the one carved into my heart.

I still remember
A lonesome villa by the sea
That seems quite so long ago...
For even memories can get old
But the heart withers not
Neither is it afraid of age’s blows
Nor fades away in the hours’ passing storms.

Smiles and whispers,
Tears and laughter,
Some as fleeting as a lovely sunset
Some lasting like the sights
Of those beautiful gallery teachers
Let me be drunk in those reveries
Beneath the Dionysos’ sky.

Regards and thank you all
For the memories
Bright and rare,
For the stories
You’ve chosen to share,
For the white and travertine,
And, why not, for the coffee and lemon tea.

Farewell...
To the marble halls,
To the winter’s early night falls,
To the spring’s rousing signs,
To the garden full of thyme,
To the summer’s brightest rays
To the autumn’s lovely gray.

To the sirens’ melodies fine,
To the clouds in the bluest sky,
To the yellow marble steps,
To the gallery teachers gorgeous,
To the rows of sycamores,
To the strands of soft willows
Bless me now, Hermes, I shall go.

--Myat Noe (2009)

At the Natural History Museum

Eric's birthday was this past Wednesday, and this weekend he wanted to celebrate by taking Liam to the Natural History Museum. He has lots of fond memories of visiting the museum from his childhood, and now he wants to share it with Liam. Of course, I love museums too, so this was a treat for the whole family. Until today, the only museum Liam had visited was the Villa, making this trip his first to the Natural History Museum. We arrived at the museum early, thinking to get in a good visit and still fit naptime in for Liam around midday. It turned out to be a good strategy all around, because as early-birds we had many galleries to ourselves when we first arrived. 

Although Liam was at times more preoccupied with attempts to extricate his favorite "ca-cas" (translation: goldfish crackers) from the diaper bag, as you can see from the pictures he did break free from the bondage of his stroller and engage with some of the exhibits. His favorite galleries were the dioramas and dinosaur halls, but the touchables gallery, where he could touch all of the exhibits, was the biggest hit. At his age touching is so important to learning and connecting, so that space was by far the one in which he was the most engaged.

Museum person that I am, I have to say that one of the things I enjoyed most about our visit was the novelty of just being a visitor. It was also great to have a family outing and spend some time together after so many weeks of Eric working weekends. Given the success of our first visit, I have no doubt we will be making another trip to the NHM again soon!

Daddy and Liam check out the African elephants.

Touching animal skins with Mommy in the touchables gallery.

Big dinosaur, little visitor.

My, what big teeth you have!

Really, Mom? Another picture?

A future paleontologist? A forensic anthropologist, perhaps?