Wish List - 2014 Edition

It seems I write an entry like this nearly every year. I wouldn't say I have New Year's resolutions--just a wish list of goals for the year. Some will be more fully realized than others, but the important thing to me is to at least reflect and think about ways to improve. So here's my wish list of goals, in no particular order:

GET HEALTHY -- After spending the most part of the last year pregnant, I'm looking forward to losing some of the pregnancy weight and shaping up a bit. I don't have the time or the resources to turn my pregnancy-ravaged body into a Hollywood standard, but I CAN get moving with the kids and get exercise
that way. Before I was pregnant I did a pretty good job of getting out for walks and trips to the park with Liam, and I'd like to get back into that habit. Alongside this goal is my desire to have healthier food around the house.

GET ORGANIZED -- I want to do more activities with the kids--both physical and educational. Reading and writing for Liam, trips to the park and other outings to museums, etc. for my part I'd like to read more and write more--at least write more in my journal, if nothing else. (As this blog attests, I am at best only an occasional blogger...)

GET TOGETHER -- Both Eric and I are happy with the family aspect of our life together, but I think we'd both agree it could be benefit from some time spent working on "us."

Year in Review

Another year has passed and this New Year's Eve has me looking back on all that's happened in 2013. By far the most significant event of the year was the birth of my second son, Connor Gregory Wells, on November 24th. He is a sweet baby and my greatest blessing this year. As happy as I am to be able to snuggle and hold my newborn son, I am not at all sorry to no longer be pregnant. I've not had a horrible or high-risk pregnancy either time, but I am not a fan of pregnancy. My first trimester was no fun thanks to a three-month bout with bronchitis, tonsillitis, and a double ear infection--not to mention morning sickness. Once I finally got past all of that sickness the pregnancy went well, I was just much bigger and more uncomfortable this time around. Eric still says he wants to have three kids, but I think I'm done. We have two beautiful boys and our hands are full as it is!

Although I was supposed to have a scheduled c-section this time, Connor had other plans. Three days before I was scheduled for surgery I began having contractions shortly before midnight. By one a.m. they started becoming regular and less than ten minutes apart. After an hour of regular contractions I told Eric to stay with Liam and had Mom take me to Torrance Memorial hospital. The contractions were strong and coming more quickly by the time we got there, so walking was slow going. Once I arrived at Maternity I had to fill out paperwork--just what you want to do when you're in labor. The nurses weren't in a hurry, and I thought there was time, but by the time I was in a hospital gown and hooked up to a monitor my contractions
were not just coming rapidly, they were peaking on the monitor. I was in full-on labor and experiencing a
kind of pain I had never felt before in my life. The doctor on call gave the order to get me prepped for surgery, and suddenly in the midst of those painful contractions I had people asking me questions, drawing blood, starting an. I.V., shaving me, and so on. All I wanted for the anesthesiologist to show up and give me an epidural, but I was told that it had to wait until I was in the O.R.

As they were about to wheel me out of the labor room my water broke, but I was in too much pain to say anything. By that point Mom had called Eric and told him to get to the hospital. I didn't see him until I was on the operating table, prepped for surgery. I was glad it worked out so that I was out if pain by the time he saw me. I'm not sure he would have handled it well when I was in so much pain. There wouldn't have been anything he could have done to help me. Being in that much pain there was nothing get could have comforted me but drugs--lots of drugs. The surgery went well and before I knew it my baby was born and crying--a wonderful sound to hear. When Liam was born the nurses gave him to Eric first, but this time I got to be the first one to hold Connor. The nurses laid him on my chest and I felt the weight of his soft, warm little body for the first time. While the pregnancy was not particularly enjoyable for me, starting with Connor's birth I began to revel in and truly enjoy the experience. The first time around I was so nervous, anxious, and stressed at the new and awesome responsibility of motherhood that I didn't get to enjoy those initial moments and days with Liam as I did with Connor. Because I was more relaxed I feel like I bonded much more quickly with Connor. Right away I couldn't get enough of holding him and felt that strong mother-child attachment much sooner. Now that we've been home for awhile, I also find I'm not passing up many opportunities to just sit and hold him and enjoy this newborn phase more than I did last time. Realizing how sweet this time can be is enough to make me wish it weren't my last baby, but reality brings me back to earth. Kids are expensive!

Aside from the huge event of becoming a mother of two in 2013, the other significant development was my involvement in a new company called Art Muse Los Angeles (ALMA). ALMA's director is Clare Kunny, a museum professional who used to be one of the Education managers at the Getty--until the layoffs of April 2012 happened. She launched ALMA in February 2013. I had the distinction of giving the inaugural tour at the Villa. Not long after, she recruited me to do ALMA's social media and blog. Before I knew it I was one of the company's regular staff members. The company is still very young and thus is not hugely profitable yet, but I hope it takes off as time goes on. If it does, I may be able to have the best of both worlds and maintain professional connections and generate a modest income while still being home with the boys full-time. The social media aspect of the job is no problem--I can do that from home and mostly on my mobile device. It's giving tours or teaching gallery courses that is a challenge because it requires finding free child care. My goal is just to do one ALMA event per month, so hopefully we can work that out. Here's hoping that 2014 brings more opportunities!

A Light Has Gone Off

"A light has gone off in the world today, but the West is blessed by a new presence: Barbara Mertz/Elizabeth Peters, a Shining One Thou risest, thou shinest with thy rays, and thou hast made mankind to rejoice for millions of years according to thy will, ankh wedja seneb."

--Salima Ikram, on the death of Barbara Mertz

August 8, 2013

Odds and Ends

Yesterday I did my first lecture for an Art Muse LA (ALMA) course at ESMoA (El Segundo Museum of Art). It was for a class on nudity in Western art and presented as a supplement to a nudity themed exhibition at ESMoA and the Villa's antiquities collection. My lecture covered nudity in the ancient Mediterranean (Mesopotamia, Egypt, Rome) and was based on a recycled PowerPoint I created for a similar lecture I gave while I was an educator at the Villa. My goal is to see how many times I can use it to make money! 😉 The lecture went well and Clare (ALMA's director) seemed pleased with my work. I had fun, too. I really do enjoy giving talks about ancient history, and I'm grateful I still have the opportunity to do it in some capacity.

Today Eric is over doing chores for his grandma, and I am home with Liam. Sometime around mid-day I was taken over with a nesting urge, and I decided how I want to rearrange the kids' room. I think I can
make some good improvements cheaply as well as prepare the space to have newborn/infant stuff in it again. Soon we will get a toddler bed for Liam so he will be adjusted to it long before we need the crib for a
baby again. I have no idea if he will take to it or not, but we will give it a try. If he doesn't make the change right away we can get by for awhile since the new baby will be with me in my room for at least the
first three months. So, we have some leeway when it come to converting Liam to a "big boy" bed.

For half of my life I've kept a journal. It has always been a handwritten journal, and I've always loved picking out a new journal each time I need a new one. However, in today's 21st century world, whether it is blogging or whatever else, I most often write on the computer or some other digital form. For a few years now I've tried to have both and write my computer typed entries into my handwritten journal. As much as I love my handwritten journal, I know I'm not writing as much in it because of the extra time it takes to hand copy the typed entries into handwritten form. On an impulse I downloaded a journaling app on my phone, and already I've written more in only a few days. I can export my entries to my computer in PDF form, so there is a way for me to archive them. Since I'm writing more, I'm going to continue to give this new methodology a try--even though I'm still tempted to write them out long-hand in my paper journal. But can I justify that time as a pregnant mother of a two-year-old? Thus, my dilemma: I love the paper journal, but the convenience and speed of the digital option suits the life of a busy mom.

Parenting Handbook

If parenting came with a handbook, what would you add to it?

You are about to learn that all of the cliches are true. The worst job you'll ever love. The days are long (very long) but the years are short. A love like no other. All are true in some way. The sacrifice, pain, and joy motherhood begins in defines the entire experience. You will give everything everyday and most days will get nothing in return, and you will think nothing of it.

After carrying this baby for nine months it feels like he or she is more yours than anything in the world. It's true for a time this baby will belong to you--but only for a time. As time passes you realize the truth. You create, love, nurture, sacrifice, and give everything of yourself and hold tight, only to figure out that the point of it all from the beginning is letting go.

You have to let go to go back to work. You let go so they can take their first step. You let go on the first day of school. You let go in little ways and big ways when the time is right so that your baby will grow to live a life as full as yours. Letting go is a defining act of parenting.

When it gets hard--and even when it is joyful and easy--I remember that, and it helps me appreciate the moment, whatever it is, because it reminds me this time will pass and someday my son will have a life of his own because that is why I gave him life.

Twenty years doesn't seem like such a long time anymore when you are a mom.

So don't blink.