Back to Work

Well, I should say back to work at the museum, because Lord knows caring for an infant is most definitely work.  It was tough to walk out the door my first day, but once I got to the Villa I had so much to do to get myself organized and up to speed, the day went quite fast.  It goes even faster when you have to take twenty minutes here and there to pump a couple of bottles.  For the first time I found myself in the Villa's nursing mother's room.  Actually, a more accurate name for it would be the "nursing mother's closet with a chair."  Spartan as it is, it's great that they have a place for a mom to pump or nurse.  However, I doubt I'll be using it much since every time I need to pump I have to have a security officer unlock the room for me.  I don't have the option to check out a key or any other arrangement, and given the fact that I have to keep up my work schedule, I'm not going to have time to wait to be admitted to the nursing closet every time I need to pump.  Most likely I'll end up in the bathroom to pump, like many other women do.  For a country that claims family is a value and a priority, public places do very little to support pregnant and nursing women.  I'm sure it would be different if men lactated, but as it is, moms are pretty much on their own.

Liam is now a little over three months. Who wouldn't miss that face?

But I digress.  Liam survived my first day back at work and so did I--without any tears, thank you very much.  My main symptoms were a heavy sadness at leaving my baby and a strong desire to get back home after work.  I did my best to imagine Liam having one of his meltdowns and tried to feel relieved that Eric was the one who had to deal with it for once, but that just made me feel guilty.  Because let's face it--daddy isn't mommy.  I'm sure I'll be acclimated to the working mom thing in no time, but in the meantime I'm still figuring things out.

Football!

A New Year and New Challenges

January has continued to be a busy month.  After Erin and Ethan's visit came a visit from my parents, who spent a few days enjoying some quality time as grandparents.  Liam was delighted to have such talkative and attentive visitors.  Since their visit and all of that constant one-on-one attention, he has been much more vocal and eager to express himself.

Liam and Grandpa Myers

Out for a stroll with Grandma Myers

Grandma and Grandpa Myers with Liam

In the past week I've given him plenty of time on his activity mat.  He seems to love flailing and batting at the toys hanging above him and squealing his enjoyment when they swing back and forth.  We've also been working on sitting--propped up and surrounded by lots of pillows, of course.  He cracks me up, because one moment he will be sitting up beautifully, then the next he'll do a face-plant in his lap.  However, those face-plants are getting slower and slower as his muscles get stronger and learn to support him better.  He is very strong, a little baby Hercules, but he still lacks some basic fine motor skills.  Once he gets them I'm sure I'll miss his days of relative immobility!

Liam loves playtime on his activity mat.

In other news, my maternity leave is slowly but surely winding down.  Naturally, I'm completely divided as to how I feel about this issue.  I look forward to returning to work and getting into our family's new routine, but at the same time I know leaving Liam is going to be difficult.  I'm glad I'll be leaving him with his dad instead of some other babysitter, but I worry about returning to work just the same.  There's no doubt daddy will do things differently than mommy, and he'll have to learn some things the hard way, but I hope he'll be a bona fide Mr. Mom in no time.

Liam and Daddy

Aside from the emotional adjustment of entering my new reality as a working mom, I also worry about how I'm going to handle the stress of coming home to my second and most important job.  Am I going to have enough left over at the end of the day to give Liam the time and attention he needs and deserves?  Returning home after fighting L.A. traffic and putting in a long day at work, only to dive right into household chores, fixing dinner, and maintaining Liam's nighttime routine is going to be a challenge.  One thing I know for sure--our little family is going to have to be a VERY organized team.  I know we will fall into those new routines soon enough, but I dread the rockiness of the transition.  I can see the challenges and arguments coming from a mile away, and I know the the only way forward is right through them.  If only anticipating challenges meant I could avoid them completely!

Liam and Mommy try to go out for a stroll every day.

Two Months In

On the roof of Griffith Observatory

Liam is now a little over two months old and is doing wonderfully.  He's a hearty twelve pounds and is getting stronger every day.  In general he is a smiley, happy little guy whose favorite pastimes are cooing at his Winnie the Pooh mobile, staring at the wall, and sucking thoughtfully on his fist.  Last week he finally got to meet his Aunt Erin and Uncle Ethan, who drove out to visit us from Illinois.  It was great to have a nice leisurely visit with my sister and her husband.  Our last visit with them was last August when they were married, so it was incredibly hectic and there wasn't a lot of time to just chill and hang out.  We managed to go out to eat and even took a couple of quick day trips to the Griffith Observatory and (naturally) the Villa.  Hopefully we will get to visit with them again soon!

Lunch at El Pollo Inka

Not unexpectedly, I've not been able to keep up with my blog entries as often as I would like.  Days get consumed with diaper and outfit changes, tummy time, household chores, and naps (for Liam) in the rocking chair--which is as it should be, really.  Once I return to work next month I think I'll be able to post entries more regularly.  Fifteen minutes on a lunch break sans baby has the potential to be a lot more productive than any amount of time at home with the baby.  Even if Liam is sleeping, I swear he has a sixth sense--he wakes up the minute my hand touches a book or my laptop, and especially if my head dares to touch a pillow.  When I'm at home he rules my time like a cute, tiny overlord.

There's no doubt that we are slowly beginning to find our new normal and develop new routines.  I expect we will continue to get better at negotiating life as three instead of two, but I'm sure Liam will keep us on our toes as he grows and changes.

If you're gonna live in Southern California,
you gotta have some cool shades  

Aunt Erin, Uncle Ethan, and Liam with Einstein
at Griffith Observatory

Smiles and a Purple Heffalump

As hard as it is to believe, Liam is already six weeks old. There's no doubt he's growing fast, and is rapidly becoming more interactive with his parents and his environment, smiling and cooing with heart-melting sweetness.  Just yesterday I laid him in his crib after a warm sponge bath, and he suddenly discovered the large stuffed purple heffalump that has occupied the corner of his crib since we brought him home.  It was so fun to watch him and really get to play with him for the first time.  I also managed to get a little video (please excuse the dim lighting and the baby talk...) :

The past few days when he wakes up in the morning he greets me with a smile that I know is for me.  That cute greeting goes a long way to helping me feel less sleep deprived and more grateful that I have such a sweet little boy to wake up to every morning.  Even though both Eric and I are kept very busy these days, we still managed to get our Christmas tree up and decorate the apartment. I wasn't at all sure this was going to happen, but we succeeded.  It's not been easy for me to get into the Christmas spirit this year.  Out here it's been unseasonably warm for this time of year.  As much as my Illinois friends and family will hate me for saying this, it's not as easy to enjoy Christmastime when it's 80 degrees and sunny outside! However, today is a nice chilly rainy day in L.A., and I'm enjoying the coziness of being at home with my little boy sleeping on my chest and a cup of mint hot chocolate (topped with whipped cream, of course) next to me. No doubt it's moments like this I'll miss when my leave is over and I return to work.

The First Month

Well, I survived the first month of motherhood.  Caring for a newborn is just as intense and exhausting a job as promised. It makes the twelve hour shifts I worked six days a week at the factory over summers during college seem downright relaxing--at least when I got home from work I knew I'd get some sleep.  The kicker is, I know I've got it pretty easy.  Liam is a good baby.  He's as easy going as you could hope an infant to be.  He takes everything in stride and seems not to mind having two parents who aren't yet finely skilled in the arts of diapering, dressing, bathing , or anything else to do with infant care.  He's also a good traveler.  We've gone out to run errands, go to doctors appointments, get Christmas pictures taken, and so on and he has yet to suffer a complete meltdown.  In short, he's a sweet, even tempered baby.  I can't wait to see how he grows as the weeks go by and we get to know more of his personality.

Aside from juggling the constant care a newborn demands, the hardest lesson of parenthood for me thus far is coming to terms with what I can't do.  I can't keep the apartment as neat and clean as I'd like, or easily prepare a meal, or take time to do any number of things I'd like to do most days.  Letting it go and telling myself this is all okay hasn't been easy.  When the frustration mounts, I sit in the rocker with Liam and try to take a step back and keep some perspective about the situation.  He isn't going to be a little baby forever, and other mothers have assured me there will come a day when I'll wish I had spent less time worrying about when I'm going to find time to dust the living room and more time holding my little boy.  So, while baby Liam learns the difference between night and day and that he can rely on his parents to keep him fed and warm, his mom is coming to terms with all she can't do and is learning to be content in the moment.  I say "learning" because I haven't quite mastered the lesson yet--but I'm working on it.

Last week we had our first family portrait taken.  Liam took being posed and having bright lights flashed in his eyes very well.  He held it together for a couple of family and individual poses before he expressed his displeasure with the situation.  I was just happy we managed to get a few pictures of him with his eyes open!